It's the Final Countdown

Tonight is my first New Year's Eve in New York. My first without my family, my first alone. It's funny how being an adult never turns out how you think it will. Tonight certainly isn't how I always pictured NYE in NYC. I always figured I'd be out at a bar or at least a friend's apartment, not home in a new empty one alone.

I have work in the morning and no plans for tonight, which means I'll probably sleep through the countdown for the first time since I was little. I'll probably miss a call from my friend Michael at 11:56 asking me how long to next year, to which I would normally respond 3 1/2 minutes.

I didn't know it would be this apartment, but I've been decorating it in my head for years. Someday hopefully it will be the duplex I've always imagined, but for now I'm happy in this six story prewar building. I don't have so much as a chair to sit on, a pot to heat soup in, but the heat is on and I have more keys than I know what to do with. And thanks to my new iPhone, I have a connection to the outside world even though I haven't set up Internet here yet.

The year draws to a close - one in which I lived in five different places in five different zip codes in two different states, in which I graduated college, traveled to Europe, got a new job, survived a hurricane, signed a lease, made friends, misses friends, left home, came home, made mistakes, made myself proud, and always, every day, learned something and loved something.

People always get sentimental at this time of year and see the start of a new calendar as a chance to start over and suddenly be something else. But just the way I feel the same on my birthday as I do the day before it, I know I'll wake up tomorrow feeling the way I do today. I survived Y2K, I survived judgement day, I survived the apocalypse, and tomorrows have to remember to date things with a new year, but that's all that will be different.

Moving is a new start. A new job is a new start. Weird things make me feel like a real person in the real world, like having enough money to splurge on two-ply toilet paper, or being able to buy a friend a drink, or spending a night going ice skating because I have time for that now. I never expected those things. And that's life.

And, as always, Harry Potter forever. All was well.